Scene: WOW camp, two prisoners on WOW and two prison guards, they bring in Bernie Madoff...
Guard 1: Bring in the prisoner!
Guard 2: Here he is!
Guard 1: Isn’t this Bernie Madoff?
Madoff: I’m innocent! I didn’t steal any money!
Guard 2: Bullshit
Guard 1: That’s okay; just play world of warcraft for us
Madoff: Wait… What!?!?!?!?
Guard 1: You are going to be playing world of warcraft for us for the rest of your life. If you don’t make our daily quotas, we will beat you with a stick
Guard 2: HAHAHAHAHABHAHAGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Prisoner 1: Hey, it’s Madoff!
Prisoner 2: Does this mean that our shift is over?
Guard 1: Shut up! Or we will beat you with a stick.
Guard 2: Let me see how much gold you have mined
[Guards look at computer. They look very displeased]
Guard 2: You barely finished your quota! No food for you!
Guard 1: You didn’t meet your quota! Come with me…
Prisoner 1: No Nooooooooooo! [As he is being dragged off]
Guard 2: And you get to work!
Madoff: No you get to work!
Guard 2: Get to work or I will beat you with a stick!
Madoff: Fine. Jerk…
Guard 2: Say that to my face!
Prisoner 2: Whoahoa! This is going to be good!
Madoff: You’re a jerk!
Guard 1: [Hits Bernie with a stick from behind] Shut up!!!
[While Guard 1 is beating Bernie with a stick]
Prisoner 2: Fight fight fight!
Guard 2: Back to work prisoner! Or do you want to meet the stick?
Prisoner 2: [grumbles] Fine...
Guard 2: Good. What are you waiting for? Go!
Madoff: Agh, stop! Stop!
Guard 1: Had enough, scum?
Guard 1: They left?
Guard 2: That’s none of your business now, is it?
Guard 1: They went while we were not paying attention Get back to work!
[Beats Madoff with stick]
Madoff: how could you have been not paying attention they were right there?!
Guard 2: No they were not. You were imagining things
[Beats Madoff with stick]
Madoff: There is something suspicious going on...
Guard1: GET TO WORK!!!
Madoff: Alright! Alright!
Guard 2: and don’t bother us until you finish your quota!
[Prisoner 1 comes back, a little bit roughed up]
Prisoner 1: I’m alive!
Guard 2: No, really?
Prisoner 1: Yes, really! I saw this light and my granny was standing there! There was a weird guy next to her though....
Guard 1: Yeah right, get back to work or we’ll beat you with a stick!
Guard 2: I was being sarcastic... Show Mr. Made Off (with your money) how to mine gold
[the guards leave]
Prisoner 1: Fine, fine...
Madoff: So. How do you play World of Warcraft?
Prisoner 2: Oh, It’s easy. All you have to do is play on these two computers [points to them, not the
one that madoff is sitting at]
Prisoner 1: Yes, indeed
Madoff: Okay. [Starts working]
Prisoner 2: [whispering] Idiot...
Prisoner 1: See you in a bit!
Madoff: Why are you guys leaving?
Prisoner 2: Our shift is over, didn’t you hear?
[the two prisoners walk out of the room the guards don’t seem to care]
Guard 1: [to Guard 2] So, have you heard any news lately?
Guard 2: I heard that Madoff just robbed a bank.
Guard 1: When!?
Guard 2: A few minutes ago!!
Guard 1: What?! He’s here right now!
Guard 2: Maybe we should check on him
[Guards check on Madoff, Guard 1 hits Guard 2 once with stick]
Guard 1: He’s still here you idiot!
Guard 2: I was joking...Where are the other prisoners?!
Madoff: They just walked out of the room, how could you guys not have noticed?
Guard 1: Shut up prisoner and get to work!
[Guard 1hits Madoff with stick]
Guard 2: Yeah and now you have to do their work too until we find them!
[the guards laugh, walk out]
Madoff: I’m going to be stuck here for 125 years, I wish there was a way for me to make some money
[the prisoners walk back in, laughing]
Prisoner 1: Hey Mr. Ponzi. Bet you can’t catch us!
[Prisoners leave, Mr. Ponzi... err Madoff tries to follow]
Guard 2: Hey, Where are you going!?
Guard 1: Yeah. Who do you think we are. Stupid?
Guard 2: Get back to work! It’s not like we have some big expensive Ponzi scheme
[Beats Madoff with stick]
Madoff: Wah.. But how come the other prisoners get to go?
Madoff: My quota....Wait a minute! Why am I working on their computers too!?
Guard 1: Because they are gone and someone needs to get the work done!
[Prisoners walk back in]
Prisoner 1: I think she likes me.
Prisoner 2: That person was a girl??
Madoff: There you are where did you guys go!?
Prisoner 1: There you are, and were we went is none of you buisness.
Prisoner 2: But we have a great deal for you.
Prisoner 1: Basically, how it goes is that you get 20% interest.
Madoff: I’m not that stupid! I got tons of money from a Ponzi scheme!
Prisoner 2: How long will you be here?
Madoff: 125 years.
Prisoner 1:....How about 40% then?
Madoff: Now that makes more sense!
Prisoner 2: So it’s a deal then?
Madoff: Yea it is a deal
Prisoner 1: Great we just need you to sign these papers.
[Gives Madoff papers and he signs them]
Prisoner 2: Ok so everything is finalized pleasure doing buisness with you Mr. Madoff
[Guards enter]
Guard 2: GET BACK TO WORK!!
[Prisoners and Madoff begin working again for about 20 seconds]
Prisoner 1: [whisper] Hey...so wanna escape? I’ve got some goods I want to show you.
Everyone: Shut up!
Fin
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